Why You Should Avoid Falling For A “Take-Charge” Kind of Man

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By: Krystle Crossman

In the past women have often chosen the alpha male type to date because he is a strong and confident man. Now women are choosing the beta male more and more because they really just want a more sensitive guy. There are pros and cons to dating each, but here are nine reasons that women are not dating alpha males as much anymore:

1. He is too controlling. Alpha males like to be dominant and have control of everything so that everyone knows who’s in charge.

2. He won’t express his emotions. He has to be a manly man, and letting someone know that they are sad or hurt is not a macho thing to do in their eyes so they shy away from it.

3. They can’t be trusted. Alpha males like to cheat and lie more than other men do because they have more testosterone in their body. They can begin to have a need to satisfy as many women as they possibly can. That doesn’t exactly work in a relationship.

4. They lack perspective on everything else because they are too into themselves to look at the world around them. They are confident yes, but perhaps a little too confident almost to the point of arrogance.

5. They are sometimes very insecure. They show themselves as the dominant party because they feel insecure about something and need to express that they are strong and manly enough even though they may not feel it.

6. Temper, temper. Alpha males tend to have a short fuse and a bad temper which are a bad combination.

7. There are plenty of beta males just waiting to be snatched up. They are nice, level-headed, play it cool guys that are just looking for someone to share their life with, not to control.

8. Alpha males act quickly and without thinking sometimes. They may not think of the consequences of their actions before they jump into something which can get them into a lot of trouble and can end up hurting you.

9. You will feel very restricted in life because it is all about him, and hardly ever about what you want.

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25 Comments

  1. Wow great article!!!

    Very very informative, but I wouldn’t call him an Alpha Male / the correct name is “LUNATIC” selfish self-serving, ungrateful life sucking demonic thief without a conscience. He’s not even a man yet because he carries nothing but negative baggage that destroys any woman that will allow him into her path.

    *Men do not get angry at my post: Just think about a nut like this sitting across your dinner table smiling in your face while he’s jacking your daughters life down the drain…

    • Redbone couldn’t have said it better. This is exactly the man in my life and I cant seem to get ride of him. The Alpha male is so insecure and stubborn. They Take everything to the extreme.

      • @Angela G….

        Thank you Angela, you see its very very easy and unfair for people to make assumptions about somebody elses personal life and tragedy looking from the “OUTSIDE IN” least they walk in your shoes.
        Be strong my sister, but move on quickly before co-dependent behavior sets in and you become trapped by your own actions. I’ve seen Alpha-men turn black-women out and they lose their identity for years until that man pass away, then the woman is still all mentally screwed up.
        Some women end up in situations like that because they’ve been taught by their mothers relationships with their fathers. Some of us are strong and some of us are weak. The biggest part I hate is when some black-men try to justify that horrible BS behavior because they get a tow-tail anytime a women steps foreword and speaks truth…

        God did not create and design the black-women for any type of abuse. *I’ve seen Alpha-male behavior in an X-uncle, I’m glad my aunt got rid of his donkey and he was a KAPPA… FLEE WOMEN…

  2. You teach people how to treat you. If you are willing to tolerate bad behavior and disrespect in the name of love,that’s on you.

    • @ericaf…

      LMBO!!! some are well below being taught these days, you just gotta start running once you get that quick wif / stanking smell of them coming towards you… LMBO!!! you know how documentaries say Alpha-Male wolfs give off a strange odor, well the females odor is stronger so just use it as a weapon to disinigrate them instead of drawing them LMBO!!!!

      • You whine too much ! Women are hailed for being the same except lauded for being confident and independent. Women want things when the going gets good and complain when the going falls down. Just opportunistic banter. Why don’t you blame your daughters poor choice in the first place to chose the looser she is stuck with and Jesus aint going to come down and help your looser [email protected]@ss for him to go . Go learn black history and get a grip

        • @Max715…

          Deal with it!!! you jealous donkey-mule-a$$ mutha-F, Redbone ain’t feeling this BS this morning so yo a$$ got the wrong person. Your just angry because Redbone is exposing truths, too bad jigga deal with it, and if I was in yo face I’d set yo spirit on fire, so again you got the wrong strong black sister… Now get the FK off my bike…

          • Ghetto ass sister like you confuse a strong black women with being synonymous with cussing and sounding ghetto in the worst way when it is meant for educated and conscious sisters. Take your bible toting ignorant Jesus weak ass out of here and go pick up a black history book and learn about the lies morons like you have bought into that’s sold by the Caucasoid neanderthals. You value cussing , fighting and thuggery more than knowledge and unity. piss off [email protected]

          • @MAx…
            Your an ignorrant low-life black-boy who does not value the rights of black-women… Your angry because you fit the profile of some spiritually immature unclean black-boy yet to be a man… You’ve been touched by the truth and you know it so deal with. What’s the matter!!! Redbone exposing all your trade secrets!!
            You can’t hurt me by any of your lunatic comments, if you didn’t fit the profile you would have never addressed it, so go clean-up your filthy clueless self-centered wolf-a$$ / Alpha-boy image, you stank boy!!!! Your now on IGNORRRRRR!!!!

          • Why do i need to fit a profile to adrees women like you who give sisters and brothers a bad name with your profound anger and attitude of entitlement , like the world owe you something because you have a vagina and and can carry a child for 9 months ? Its called being female, silly. Do men look for recognition to carry kids in their BALLZ SACK ? NO !. I have yet to see any sisters protests on behalf of brothers for what we go through but we suck it up and move on i suggest you do the same and take yo azz in the church and tell the pastors who are skrew!ng all the sisters to become relevant again like in the civil rights days and start unifying the community instead of sleeping with low lives like yourself and your angry ass daughters

          • @MAX715…

            Heck for all I know your probably a HE-SHE on the down-lown or all of the above. You really don’t want a piece of Redbone / I’ll visit yo donkey if you like. LMBO!!! So just hold your thought while I go chat with my creator, and remember this: I don’t need to know your real name for my God to find you and make a connection with your clueless donkey!!!

  3. Mrs. Adamson on

    Wow..very presumptuous, a gross over generalization of men. When we stop feeling the need to label everyone we will be better off. I think a man will be selfish, insecure or/and unfaithful if he’s sneaky or manipulative regardless of whethervor not he’s Alpha or Beta. I agree that you are treated how you allow people to treat you if you command respect you will receive it, because anything less would be unacceptable and you wouldn’t tolerate individuals who did not treat you the way you know you deserve. I’m offendedbfor men after reading this articlevand I’m a homosexual woman. This article isn’t helpful and I’m disappointed in the authors lack of evidence-based research to give weight to their arguments. Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof. This is conjecture, from an obviously bitter woman, we tend to project this kinds of reflections upon others and ladies if you close your mind to any “type” of spouse because you put their personality type in a box, you will most likelybregret it and miss out on an opportunity. Love comes to open hearts and openminds.

  4. Craig aka Trouble on

    As one who could be considered and “Alpha Male” type, I totally disagree with the above mentioned conclusions. Alpha Male men are controlling because they are allowed to be and many women prefer this type of man. Many women and some men either can’t or won’t make a decision thus they prefer someone else to do it. I’m willing to do this because I’m also willing to be responsible for making the decisions. And, eventually women grow out of this behavior to be more controlling than the man. Once they see how it works then they start doing it.

    It is true that many men not just Alpha males don’t express their emotions but my wife has trusted me for over twenty years. I have rarely if ever let her down.

    We may lack perspective but that’s only because we’re so focused on achieving our goals. And in the end it was worth it.

    The comment about having a short fuse and bad temper is true. I don’t play when it comes to being disrespected and will let you know it in no uncertain terms. But I’m working on this.

    Alpha males take action. Whether it’s to quick for others in their problem.

    If I’m am successful my woman be extension is successful so I don’t know why the restriction thing is an issue. And by the way, I’ve learned to let my wife have her own life in spite of my dominance. Its worked for us.

  5. And so it begins. The demonetization of responsible men in favor of irresponsible confused boys. I was waiting for this to happen in the black community.

    I’m a alpha male putting a daughter through college, with good credit, married with no desire to cheat. I love and support my wife and family. I do express my emotions often as well. In a world where everything goes for the norm, and there are little to no standards in society and especially in our community – hell yeah I’m going to show back bone and stand up for what I believe in.

    My short fuse might be because I don’t have time for stupid [email protected] Watching my daughter perform with her school band is much more important than watching a football or basketball game.

    I make moves and act based on sound reasoning and factual information. Call me arrogant crazy or whatever, but I am the head of my household. The buck stops with me. The wife and I make decisions together. If we don’t agree then we don’t proceed, unless time is of the essence at which case I make the final decision. I also am accountable for whatever incorrect decisions I make which affect my household.

    I am the son of a single teenage mother, raised in the projects – now making a six figure income. Cars paid off. delinquent on nothing. I break all the B.S. stereotypes of the black lazy uneducated violent male with criminal record and no future. I mentor young black boys labeled as I once was as “at risk youth”

    If all that is not what the average normal women is looking for, I don’t know what else to say. Keep looking for metrosexuals.

    • @REAL MAN…

      Great Post, right on target… I know there are good strong black-men out there like you. If your the real definition of an Alpha-Male then you need to continue to educate, because the black-men spoken about in this article is not positive relationship material for any good strong black-woman.

      Narcissistic lunatic is the real definition of the man or men this article speaks about who act out in the type of behavior this article speaks of…
      There are many black-men who play this role 24-7, so why get angry when the truth is brought forth in an article that just needs to be addressed to bring positive change to black on black relationships.

      The [email protected] going down in our black communities concerning relationships & marriage is just horrible and out-to-lunch day-in & day-out.
      This type of behavior does not make you a positive strong black-male figure, it makes you a [email protected] dysfunctional APE because your a danger to the black-women and your own brothers that you come into contact with on a daily basis because you do nothing but spread contact poison…

      Redbone have seen you in action, that’s why I can talk about it and warn my daughters & sisters everywhere… Enough Is Enough!!!!

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  7. Shakng My Head on

    The more I read this article the more I can see the effects of black women and men everyday losing their culture and roles therein, and general perspective. Meanwhile what passes for entertainment depicts the white male as the strongest alpha male, while ridiculing the black alpha male. The article fails to describe a Alpha Male. What it refers to is what is called a narcissist, two different things. Your article allows women to be confused regarding red flags. Thanks for making it harder for responsible strong black men.

  8. What a dumb ass piece of crap article. Funny how alpha males are described as abusive and controlling bt
    but we alpha females are describe as assertive and confident. My fiance’is an alpha male who is none of that sheit in the article, he is a strong Belizean man, take charge brotha who treats me well. I am an alpha female I have no attraction to beta males, beta male are too soft and too indecisive and let women take advantage of them, and they are followers not leaders. Beta males are “yes” men, dont stand up for themselves, avoid any kind of confrontation or conflict, and non-assertive. Dated a beta male in HS, I was too much for him and he just wasnt enough for me. Alpha females need Alpha men, and I’ve got mine. Soft frminized men dont do it for me. Teamalphamale!

  9. The DAPA DON. on

    LET U TELL WHO EVA WROTE THIS BULLSHIT.IF U GETTING YO ASA WOOP U AINT GONE WONT NO BETA MAN IF UR HOUSE GETS BROKE IN WHILE UR IN IT U AIN’T GONE WONT NO BETA MAN.GOD MADE MEN TO BE STONG NOT SO SO **** U AN THEM SOFT ASS BETA MEN..REAL BULLSHIT.STOP IT!!!

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  13. I am in love with an Alpha. I am an alpha. He has lied and cheated because I allowed it. We worked on ourselves and we work through the bull. I cannot be with someone who is so cool that he does not take action.

    Now he respects me. He does not lie. We are HONEST about having attractions so that there is no incentive to act on them. Part of that whole mess is the lack of honesty. A man who is indoctrinated by this western society dominated by white supremacy believes it is a testament to his manhood to lie and cheat. An enlightened man can lead and be totally honest and deal with the consequences and keep it pushin. A woman as well.

    Brother and sister, we do not need to berate one another in such ways when we are not our enemy. Love and light to you both.

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