Why You Should Run If a Man Asks You To Keep Your Love a Secret


secret manBy Eulla Monte

We have all seen enough celebrity relationships and marriages where the couple were madly in love one day and then broken up the next to understand that a relationship that is open to public scrutiny and is constantly being watched and talked about is less likely to work than a “normal” relationship. But unless your man is a celebrity, if he asks you to keep your love relationship with him a secret, that is a very big red flag. The following are the reasons that men tend to want to keep their relationships secret:

1. He is Married – Men cheat and sadly, married men are no exception. If your man is asking you to keep the relationship a secret and seems more comfortable calling you than you calling him and loves coming over to your house but always has an excuse about why you can’t come to his house, there is a good chance he is married and you’re his mistress, or at east one of them.

2. He is in a relationship – Much like the married guy, a guy who is in a relationship and is still exploring his options will also likely tell you to keep the relationship a secret so his other woman is less likely to find out about you. Just remember, if he is in a relationship and has started one with you, even if he leaves the other woman, a few months later he may leave you for the nest option.

3. He is a serial monogamist – A man who does not plan on sticking around for too long will generally keep you a secret. Why bother taking you to meet his friends and family if he doesn’t plan on keep you around?

4. He is just not that into you – Unfortunately, some men will get into relationships just for a steady supply of $ex and not much more. If you’re in it for the same reason then that may work for the both of you, but if you want a meaningful and long lasting relationship, this will be a problem.

5. He doesn’t trust you or himself – Some men may want to get into a serious relationship but they are deathly afraid of getting hurt or abandoned and they need to feel you out before they can publicly declare their love for you. Some men just don’t trust themselves to be good relationship partners and they believe that they will eventually screw up and you’ll leave so they would rather keep it quiet until it inevitably ends.

If a man really cares about you and wants to build a life with you he will let you into his inner circle and will have no problem being seen in public with you. If you’re not sure about your relationship with your man, have an honest conversation with him and if is consistently evasive, then you have your answers.



    • @AL…

      You know its really really sad some men can’t take being subject of an article. This article was not written to dump on the black-man, but to give warnings and teach black-women relationship skills.
      You know and I know what the editor has written is true, and most black-women need to hear this, seek it and understand it, especially our younger clueless / unlearned women who many older perverted nasty lunatics go after everyday.
      AL you have a daughter or some nieces don’t you!! So lets not wear a rose colored glasses.

      Too many black-men comment on these sites speaking truths and untruths about black-women, what we should not be doing or should be doing, and the moment an article is written to teach black-women a better way all the BS comments start rolling, it never fails. Many black-men forget they have daughters nieces etc…

      Its a sad day in time…

      • My job is to Mentor & Guide young Black Boys into becoming productive “Black Men” I leave the mentoring of “young Black Women” to those more qualified than myself

        • @AL…

          Granted!!! but this article is still to our black-women…wink!!

          Go blog your own ALPHA-MALE article and excuse yourself from ours…LMBO!!! WE HAVE NEEDS!!!

          • I’ve had the same barber for 15 years & he has a cousin he’s only seen about 4 times in that 15 years because of his Alpha-Female & have several “Homies” in the same boat, this is a relationship issue not a “Female” one. I also love me a “B!tch” my father didn’t even pretend he was in charges of the household & taught me to do the exact same. When I was younger my friends would say “how will we know who’s the biggest “B!tch” in the party she’ll be all over AL & he will be all over her” & not one of the weighed over 130 pounds & scared me to death

          • AL….

            LMBO!!! AL you are crazy!! Too funny, great sense of humor brother!! I haven’t seen too many Alpha-Females, but yes I know they do exist and they can be some ugly acting creators too, they just can’t really see themselves, but you Alpha-Males still out number the female species in the “Alpha Department” and you know I’m right, that’s why so many sisters are messed up behind a great population of black-men…

            Peace Brother

          • I guess we all need to learn what AL’s definition of a “B!tch” is… LOL AL in the RAW!!! Too funny!!! huh I guess AL is alive out there somewhere…

          • That’s what others called her, I just called her “My Wife” if someone called her a “B!tch” she would say “A card carrying member & running for President” outside of telling a joke I’ve never used that word

          • Good Morning Mr. Hill…

            Now this post sounds better…wink!!! All day yesterday I kept saying “AL Hill CUSSED” LMBO!!! I said WOW!!! AL Hill CUSSED / that man cussed, he never cuss LMBO!!!
            However I do understand what your saying because Redbone also has a BYTCH-ROLE and she plays it very well, but Alpha-Female (I am not / never have been), its an ugly no class walk, and it looks horribly tenacious to see a black sister out in public who out-weights her man by looking & carrying herself like head of household.
            But I also have my definition of a “BYTCH vrs A B!TCH”, there is a difference, and I don’t mind calling it what it is… Peace

  1. LMBO!!! Ha ha!!! I knew that was coming Al…

    Most women don’t hide much when it comes to situations this article speaks on.

    The key is: “GUARD YOUR HEART” from the “WORDS” a man will speak into your ear-gates, right away it goes straight to our hearts and draws the spirit of lust & sexual intentions…

    Don’t even allow them to (PHYSICALLY TOUCH OR TASTE YOU / TAP INTO YOUR SOULTIES) whatsoever, because if a man want to really get to know you he will take his time to “WOO YOU”. Remember they are hunters by nature always needing somewhere to dump until they learn to get their lives under control connecting and growing into maturity.

    • I don’t think so… AL is a happily married man and Redbone is a happily single woman and loving every last bit of it… Now we’ll just add you to our play-room…

    • @Melvin…

      That question is getting away from the article, but you do have a point too. As far as I’m concerned the whole show concerning black on black relationships is just horrid and “OFF BALANCE”, seemingly never to be fix because of straight out blatant imaturity , un-forgiveness, absolutely no realization, its endless…, so my conclusion to find peace with it on a personal level is to flat out walk away from all this crazy drama and allow sleeping dogs to lay where they lay. It ain’t gonna get no better and Redbone just wanna walk off into her happy-life and the hell with everything else in the US, it doesn’t apply to me unless I allow it to, that’s called taking “INTELLIGENT CONTROL” of your own life… I will continue to guide where God advise me to, but it will be more on a disconnected level.

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