Woman Says She Still Has No Man After Losing 78 Pounds

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By: Isabella Carson

Brande Victorian has not had much luck in the love department. The Deputy Editor of Madame Noire says that she knows that this was in part due to her weight. Victorian knew that it was time to drop the extra weight that she had and get healthy. She wanted to do it for herself and not so that she could land a man, but it would have been a nice bonus. Over the course of 9 months she dropped an incredible 78 pounds. She looks and feels fantastic. The only problem is that she is still single. She doesn’t have men knocking down her door to get a date with her now that she is in better shape. She doesn’t have to fend the guys off with a stick when she goes out as so many people made it seem like she would have to.

Victorian is not letting her still-single status get to her. After all, that wasn’t why she lost the weight in the first place. She lost it for herself and no one else. She states that she still has another 55 pounds to go before she is at a healthy weight for her height and she is going to continue with what she has been doing to get those pounds to disappear. However it is still disappointing that she has dropped so much weight and yet still she has not found someone to connect with. She said that she had to stop looking at comments on blog posts that she had written because there were always comments that would fat-shame black women and state that no one was going to want them. It hurt too much to look at the comments because they made her believe that it was a true statement.

So now that she has had the time to assess her situation and look over the facts Victorian is beginning to think that maybe her weight wasn’t the problem at all. Maybe there was something else. If no one was even glancing at her now that she has lost the weight it must be something else right? She stated that she is going to continue focusing on herself and not on the men that are not looking her way and will lose the rest of the weight whether someone wants to date her or not.

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7 Comments

  1. Melvin Childs on

    She’s a beautiful lady who can be with any man. I like her personal growth its a real up lifting story

  2. I salute this women for her courageous journey. However, it is very critical to note that she initially said that she believed that at least in part, her not having a man was due to her weight. Therefore a major motive for losing weight was centered around a getting a man. I am sure that it has been hard for her believing that if she was smaller she would somehow have a man; only to discover that is the farthest from the truth. She and other women need to really understand that the fat shaming, nasty, and vile women and men who say to them that no one would ever want them must be blind. There are too many fat women with children, and they didn’t get fat from pregnancy.

    It’s okay. You have permission to say that that you are losing weight with the goal hoping to improve your chances of finding a man. But may I suggest you train your mind and spirit to not find a man, but receive love. You see the verbiage used in her statement speaks volumes to me about her inner-man’s contemplation. Finding a man sounds more like she wants sex and not love. At any rate, she can get both fat or skinny. My point is tell the truth and free yourself from sounding noble just say you are tired of not getting any sex cause you fat! At the end of the day many people continue to miss the whole point of the lives right in front of them. There are women who are educated, rich, gym trained bodies, considered pretty, who are lonely, miserable, played, betrayed, rejected, dejected, forsaken, perplexed, and in despair. So my sister, head up! Keep living in peace.

  3. Yepper…now that she’s lost some weight she’s being real p[icky and feels she should have an Adonis—–Did she stop to think that maybe she’s pushing people away with her new found attitude? Probably was a much more pleasant person when she weighed more

  4. I am very happy for you, that at a young age you have chosen to live a healthier lifestyle. But you also need to live a healthy spiritual life. You were beautiful even when you were heavier. Stop letting humans tell you who and what you should look like and who you should be. Stop going on those dating websites and blogs, where you more than likely will end up with someone or something you really don’t want. Look at all the so-called beautiful people in Hollywood, sports and entertainment. They have what the world promotes. They buy their looks with plastic surgery, they hire personal trainers and have liposuction to shape their bodies. They hire chefs to cook healthy meals. They can buy and spend their money on anything they want, and are still miserable. Moving from person to person; looking for someone to love them and complete them. We all want to be and feel loved. But the only One, that can give us that kind of love is Jesus. No human will ever be able to do that, because humans are flawed creatures. Get to know Jesus first, have a relationship with Him; then you can ask Him for what you want. Remember it’s a man that find a good thing (wife). While Jesus is cleaning you up spiritually, He is also cleaning up your future husband spiritually for you. Have a blessed life in Christ.

  5. Sister Victorian, the fact is, you lost the weight so men would find you attractive enough to approach. Just about everyone claims they lose weight “to get in shape” or, “for health reasons” but the truth is those reasons are secondary. I understand your feelings because I am a big woman myself and I know how it is for us. The fact that you still haven’t met anyone probably means they still find you too heavy for their taste so you’ll have to continue your weight loss. Also, consider the fact that the numbers of eligible men have been severely depleted due to incarceration and many black men’s desire for women of other races, especially white ones.

  6. Sunshine Anderson on

    I’m happy she realized that along they way. Your weight, is not the problem. It never was. For you, it may have been a health issue. And maybe somewhere along the way, someone told you that you not having a man is because your overweight. I’ll never believe that’s the reason. I’ve always been overweight, always been the big girl in a pack of skinny-thick chicks. lol Since high school. And always had a man, good men, when I wanted them, and have had to fend off men when I didn’t want to be bothered. What I have, was something that my most brick house and prettiest friend didn’t have… confidence. Confidence is so attractive to men. People in general are drawn to confidence. Now there’s a difference between confidence and arrogance too. So don’t be so confident that you can’t recognize your own flaws (and laugh at them sometimes) or have the inability to compliment another person, especially a woman. Make sure that you are working on your inside as well as your outside. I applaud your weight loss. 78 pounds in 9 months is great! Keep up the good work!

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