By: Krystle Crossman
Lisa Hayes is a relationship coach. She seems women go through horrible relationships all the time that seem to suck the life out of the women who are in them. She states that women need to stop lying to themselves about the state of their lives in general and stop tolerating things that they should not be tolerating. Hayes lists three different lies that women tell themselves all the time and they are lies that can be very detrimental to our health and happiness.
-Starting any sentence with, “But he loves me.” – If you have to say “but” in front of your statement you are lying to yourself. Women often try to see the good in a relationship that they know is bad and try to justify staying in this relationship because of this little lie. They tell themselves that even though their partner has done something awful to them it is not all that bad because “he loves me.” Even if deep down inside they know that it is not the truth they will still try to say it to make themselves feel better or to excuse behavior that others are seeing.
-“Once I am thinner I am going to…” – Most women feel that they have weight that they need to shed. Many will tell themselves that once they are rid of that weight that they feel is holding them back they will accomplish something or try something new. Hayes says that this lie needs to stop because it is preventing women from living their lives. She states that if a woman doesn’t feel that she is worth trying whatever it is that she wants to do while she is heavier, she isn’t worth it when she is thinner either. Live your life for the now, Hayes says. Living in the present is something that more women need to be able to do as someday the regret will come from not having done what you really wanted to do because you felt that you needed to lose weight before doing it.
-“I would be happy if he would just stop…” – No, you will not be happy. You may think that you will be, but the truth is that once he stops whatever you want him to stop you will find something new about him that makes you unhappy. Hayes says that women tolerate things that they shouldn’t and play the “fool’s game”. Women say things like, “If my husband would stop cheating on me, I would be so much happier.” The truth of the matter is that while you are waiting for him to change your life is passing you by. Your chances to actually be happy are becoming slimmer by the minute. If you are finding something major such as cheating or drinking that is stopping you from being happy you should take a deeper look at the relationship and realize that it is time to stop tolerating these things. Hayes says that women need to stop waiting for others to change because it is only going to hurt them in the end.