Your Money and Your Man; Should They Mix?

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black-couple-fighting-over-moneyOne of the major reasons why marriages fall apart is finances. While we should not judge the health of our marriages and relationships by how much money a person has or how well a person handles money, it can not be denied that money is certainly a factor and it needs to be a consideration.

If you have not yet made “the plunge” and said “I do,” you may want to pay attention to a few things about your man and his money because once you get married, you, your money, your man and your man’s money are are going to be a part of that relationship.

Money should never be a divider in relationships yet the majority of all divorces are due to disagreements over financial matters. Why is this? It is my contention it is not the financial irresponsibility itself, because many of us including myself have made financial mistakes. However, it is the SURPRISE of that additional bank account loaded with money that was kept secret, that unknown poor credit score, or that irresponsible shopping addiction that causes financial turmoil and arguments in a relationship.

How do we solve this?

First, let me demonstrate a critical point by telling you this story: There was a little boy who saw an elderly man sitting on a bench with a dog. The little boy walked up to the man and said,

“Hey old man…does your dog bite?”

The old man said, “No…my dog don’t bite.”

“Are you sure?” said the little boy.

“Yep…I’m sure,” said the old man.

So the little boy went up to the dog and tried to pet the dog. Immediately the dog growled, jumped up, and bit the little boy on the hand.

“OUUUCH!!!!! Hey old man…I thought you said your dog don’t bite!” said the little boy.

The old man said, “This ain’t my dog.”

The moral to this story that we must apply to our financial lives ……..…we must ask the right questions!

So again, how do we solve these financial surprises? We must communicate and ask the right questions of our loved ones. Here are a few possible questions you might ask your mate to get that crucial conversation started. Be mindful of the answers as the wrong answers could be a crucial determinant of whether or not you should take that marriage plunge.

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3 Comments

  1. Pingback: Your money and your man: Should they mix? | YNaija

  2. I handle the finances because my husband would otherwise be irresponsible & not even realize bills need to be paid. I am a homemaker & he’s the breadwinner, brings it home everyday & put it on the dresser. Works out great, communication is key.

  3. Then why does hollyhood have a 70% divorce rate and they all have money? Most of the time irresponsible spending by one of the parties causes problems and this attitude of ” shop till I drop” is not conducive to a healthy relationship also. Why is it always about the mall instead of investments with some women? We own property, Mutual funds and stocks so we can have an easier future. The mall is not the be all end all and overspending on cars also. But some people are always trying to keep up with the jones’ s when they can’t keep up with themselves. Save and invest, and spend frugally and your relationship will last. The mall, HIGH CAR NOTES AND AN OUTRAGEOUS MORTGAGE WILL DOOM U… Ptah Ra..

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