Healthy Relationships: Is being fake not being real?


gossipingBy Lorie Hardy

Okay, I know the title may not make any sense to you right now, but read on for my explanation.

I think I’m one of the realest persons I know…lol, but I think I could get a few people to agree with me.  That being said, if you know me, you know that I don’t put on any fronts and I keep it 100%, to the point that it will definitely show on my face.  So being a professional poker player would not bring in the coins to accommodate my living. 

I think that you should be who you are and not pretend to be someone else, especially when you only want something from someone.  Unfortunately, I think I’m the only one who thinks that way, because mostly everyone I know can talk about someone saying  they can’t stand them or how they get on their nerves and two minutes later are up in their face and hugging them.  How do you do that?  I can’t do that. 

Same goes if someone has done me dirty, I mean extremely dirty.  I know people who can forget it like it never happened, still talk about that person behind their back mind you, and go on vacation with that person.  Am I wrong?  Should I develop a thinner skin and forgive the person who has wronged me or be all loving with the person I detest?

I know as Christians you are supposed to turn the other cheek, but how many times should you do it and why should you keep being the punching bag for someone who obviously doesn’t care about you?

Don’t get me wrong, I can forgive and even sometimes warm up to the individual who has cut me to the core, but only with a lot of time and prayer.  I’m not perfect and I don’t claim to be.  The only thing I claim is being real, which is why it baffles me when people are so two-faced; and even more so with women, because I know how devious some  women can be.  So are they doing the opposite of what the person expects because they are plotting their revenge?  Or are they genuinely a forgiving person and let the past be in the past?

I believe in letting the past stay in the past, because you surely can’t grow if you are holding onto something that hurt you so bad; but for me it doesn’t happen overnight like it seems to do with everyone else, well mostly everyone else I know. 

I’ll admit there are times I envy those individual’s ability to adapt and bounce back so quickly after being done so tremendously wrong.  Sometimes I wish I had that ability, but then I look at the situation again and think to myself…nah, not yet, I need more time and like being real…lol.

How do you deal with people after they have hurt you? Let us know in the comment section…

Lorie Hardy is the author of “There Are No Good Men Because There Are No Good Women”. She has a passion to empower women and children in all aspects of life. She is a weekly guest on the “Straight Talk” Internet show. She is a writer and director. Visit Lorie at,, or on twitter @empowermnt4life



  1. Once it is clear to me that someone has shown something different from what they claim I pray on it, forgive them and move on. I use to try to reconcile the relationship but then I realized that was putting others before me and my need to have loyality and trust with the people in my life. GOD says forgive but he does not obligate you to relationship. I move on.

  2. Renee Aldridge on

    I am going through this as we speak, someone has wronged many so many times it is hard to just let the past be the past I mean I wake up almost everyday praying that I don’t think about what they have done to me and believe me it’s hard some days I feel so sad but I am putting all my trust in God it is clear that they have moved on but for me I am empty inside for what they took from me. I am glad I read this because I am a strong woman of Faith I just can not wait until the day I really do not have to wake up and have a thought of them at all. Please do not judge me this person has done a list of things to me,some I allowed because I am a giving person,but it still is not right to treat people any kind of way.

  3. Many sides to this false attitude issue. Some of those that easily wave aside hurts are either tolerant or considering what is of more benefit to them than trying to change someone which less indulgence may achieve in some way but not total. But there are those that absolute frauds or prostitutes at pretences. It is by choice anyway. What of politicians that practice fakeness they call diplomacy.

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