There are very few women who can say that they instantly got along with their mother-in-law from the time they met them and that their relationship has been perfect over the years. While we can acknowledge that these very rare women might be out there, we know that most women will encounter some hurdles in developing a relationship with their mother-in-law.
The relationship is obviously a two way street but it may be helpful to begin to see things from your mother-in-law’s perspective. When someone seems to make your life a little (or a lot!) harder, it may be hard to put yourself in their shoes, but we encourage you to give it a shot.
The Need Of Every Woman
Before we go too far, it is important for you to understand your Mother-in-Law has what is deeply rooted in all women. We have a need for love. Like many women, this has translated into desire for unconditional love from a man. The problem is, us women often feel a sense of lack when it comes to our Fathers and our Husbands loving us. The grown up men in our lives are usually wounded and unable to give us the love we truly desire. What is left is a void just waiting to be filled.
The Son Fills A Need
Along comes the Son. He needs his Mom and at least while he is younger, his love is unconditional. Over time, this loving boy grows up to be a man, but your Mother-in-Law is left with the taste of what it is really like to be unconditionally loved. She has experienced from her Son what she has not experienced from other men. On a subconscious level, their relationship is proof that she is lovable. After all, she struggles with self worth like any other woman.
The Wife As The Threat
Is it any wonder that when the Son presents his new wife, she can be perceived as a threat to the relationship? The Mother-in-Law compares the Son’s wife to HERSELF. If she is not strong enough in her belief that she is okay as a woman (and most women aren’t), it is a temptation to see the shortcomings of the Daughter-in-Law so she can feel good about herself.